"Be not ashamed, woman...
You are the gates of the body,
and you are the gates of the soul."

- Walt Whitman


Hello, Sacred, Sexy YOU,

Walt sure had it right, didn't he? Interestingly, this was written long before our modern day cultural and media-driven onslaught of the female body, the widespread and culturally sanctioned mass shaming of women and their bodies. But it was relevant then, it must have been. And it is more relevant now than ever.

I imagine Whitman sitting under a shady willow, on the banks of a tranquil pond, with a woman lounging near him. Was she adjusting herself, posing her legs so that the ripples under her thighs didn't show?

Maybe she was pulling her blouse so that it didn't get caught in the soft folds of her belly. Or is that just something 21st century women do, compulsively, without thinking, ritualized and critical? You know what I'm talking about. We do it quick. Often. Lest our secret gets out and our midsection is noticed.

I'm so tired of body shame. I'm tired of hearing it. Seeing it. I'm tired of feeling it.

I experience it, inside, way more often than I care to admit. It's not something I'm proud of. After all, I work with women to set them free of their own shame. Yet still my own body shame lingers and crouches secretly in shadows, lunging at me with sharp teeth when I least expect it. I see a certain photograph. (Ugh. I look pregnant.) I get a glimpse of myself at a certain angle (Whoa, nice chins.). And that shame, that ugly, abusive voice whips its venomous tongue at me and I am shrunken, beaten down and suddenly flat on my face, splashing in the muck of self-loathing.

Those moments ARE getting fewer and further between. Thankfully. 

It's taken me 40 years to learn to love myself, accept myself, adore myself. And I'm still learning. I'm not perfect. It very well take me 40 more years to perfect.

The wicked voice of the Self-Loather is sneaky and subversive. Vicious and cruel. There's something liberating about typing this, knowing that you'll be reading it in a couple of minutes.

If we all told the truth about the things we say to ourselves, would any of it melt away? Would we feel less alone?

Our society is sick. There's a big, big problem here. We are trained to hate our bodies. We like to blame it on "society"... society this, society that.... Well guess what?

We are society. You. Me.

We're the ones who buy the products that tell us we are not good enough.

I am the one with the bullshit anti-cellulite lotion in my medicine cabinet, as if I could just rub it away and then... then my perfect life will start, me and my perfect body. 

We're the ones who buy the padded bras because we think our own breasts are 'too small' or not exciting enough.

We're the ones who buy the glossy magazines with their impossible expectations and damaging messages, and flip through them thinking we'll find some holy grail, and all we find is more self-loathing.

We're the ones that spend billions of dollars supporting an industry that, as Marianne Williamson says "does not love us back."

So when does it change? How does it change?

It's already started.

In ways big and small, we are taking back our bodies, we are reclaiming our beauty, our royalty, our gorgeousness.

We are saying I GET TO DECIDE what's beautiful.

And in my little corner of the world, through my work with SacredSexyU and The Burlesque Experience, we are declaring our own worth, our right right to strip naked, on stage, in front of a cheering audience. In doing so, we take one step toward healing the world. 

Is striptease really that magnanimous and noble? Hell yeah, it is.

I like fantasizing about some magical, utopian day where all women, and all men get to live in a society that blesses and reveres the limitless number of shapes and sizes and textures and layers and varieties of beauty.

And every few months, I get a taste of that, in a special show called The Burlesque Experience BUST-OUT.

So yeah, I'm changing the world. One striptease at a time.

Let's change the world together.


Be not ashamed, woman,
Lisa Carmen

Who am I?
What are my values?
What are my needs?
Am I true to myself?
Do I betray myself?
What are my feelings?
Am I capable of love?
Am I true to my love?

Femininity is taking responsibility
for who I am,
not only what I do
not how I seem to be,
not what I accomplish.

When all the doing is done,
I have to face myself
in my naked reality.

- Marion Woodman

Hello, Sacred, Sexy YOU,

There comes certain times in our lives when we are faced with our own naked realities. Where life challenges us to examine ourselves, get completely honest and willing to see things we'd frankly rather not see or admit about ourselves. The way we do things. The way we do love, friendship, life. The way we treat our bodies.

Lately life has been challenging me, in its loving, direct, firm and provocative way, to look closely in my inner mirror. And I don't always like what I see. I don't like the way I've been so busy that my relationships and health have been put on back-burners. Not to simmer, but to crust and harden, for lack of stirring.

The poem above by Marion Woodman showed up this morning, at the perfect time, as miracles often do, as love letters from God are prone, as confirmations of right paths are revealed in perfect timing, to encourage me to continue lovingly and honestly examining myself.

Yesterday I did three things- three actions to support the life I want, not the life I've been living. Action is empowering, and after a couple of crappy days beating myself up for poor choices, I stood up, dusted myself off, and acted in accordance with who I want to be.

1. I called Living Well Dallas and scheduled a health and nutrition consultation and some Bowen work to begin, really begin, my wellness path. 
    
2. I apologized to an important friend I had hurt. 
    
3. I walked hard and fast for 30 intense and beautiful minutes in my gorgeous neighborhood, and talked to God.

And with courage and honesty, I continue to explore and question my actions, motivations, feelings and thoughts, to pinpoint the areas that need attention, and to act on them.

Lovingly, firmly, "when all the doing is done", I face my naked reality, and remind myself...

everything. is always. okay.

Nekkid and raw,
Lisa Carmen

Hello, Sacred, Sexy YOU!

Recognize any of these strategies for escaping feelings?

- avoidance
- distraction
- obession
- addiction
- numbing
- blaming
- bailing

I've rolled around with all of them myself, as a cleverway of escaping the feelings I just didn't want to feel.

Through years of lots and lots of personal work, I've learned a LOT about navigating my grey days, the fine art of being blue, how to juice a funk, and masterfully riding my sometimes precarious roller coaster of emotions. 

I've recently had some great shifts by changing my diet. I had no idea how much the foods I'd been eating were influencing my emotions. I'm enjoying more consistent joy and contentment, instead of the intense emotional highs and lows my flour and sugar addiction provided.

I know how to allow my feelings to move through me.

I'm learning how to let my 'lower' emotions (the ones I don't like) inform me, invite me to what I most need in that moment... Clarity. Action. Compassion. Stillness. Forgiveness.

I am becoming an expert of being the ocean, and not the boat. Instead of letting my emotions knock me around, (or any other unlucky soul who might happen to step in my pile o' funk...) I am becoming adept at being spacious enough for any emotion, being a safe place for every feeling.

It's strange to me when people say things to me like "you're always just so happy all the time!"

I wonder how or why they've one-dimensionalized me.Have they read my last Facebook post? I ponder. Yes, my natural disposition is joy, and I do experience it daily, most of the time. But then there's the funk. The funkytown blechy funkiness funkville funk.

I do step out of my joy (or fall out, sometimes) for a number of reasons, like we all do. I posted once as a status "Can't decide if I'm eh, meh, blah or blech." (I think I was all four.)

The feeling pissy for no-good-reason, being scared or slipping down the well of old stories and poor-me crap that comes out of nowhere sometimes. Shuts me down. Folds me up. Kinks the flow. Plucks me out of delight and wonder and ease.

And sometimes, I just don't want to waste my time there. I'm not in the mood for my bad mood. Give me back my joy. Where's my happy place? Where'd I put my bliss? I know I left it around here somewhere...

Ya feel me?

I've got a great strategy I want to share with you, for  YOUR funky "meh" moods... you know what I mean. The indifference, frustration, blechy blahs that don't seem to be doing anything except stealing your joy. For the next time you're not in the mood for your bad mood.

Next time you are in your own crappy mood and you really want to step back into joy, you can do it in 20 minutes or less.

Here's the technique:

Initiate a love campaign. A love storm. A love blitz.

I do it on Facebook, (cuz that's where I live...) but you can do it by phone, by mail, by email, by text... whatever.

Everyone who steps into your path gets at least one (if not two or three or ten) sentences about how wonderful they are. What you love about them, how you appreciate their presence in your life. How beautiful they are to you. How important they are to the world. Notice their divinity. Acknowledge their radiance. Lift them up.

Don't fake it. Speak truth from the heart. And watch the miracle happen. (Or science. Same thing.)

Do this several times in a row. Slam them with love.

Oxytocin and endorphins will begin to pump through your system. You will feel energized. Your mood will begin to shift. You may even feel giddy, overjoyed, evendizzy, when dispensing large amounts of love.

Mmmm yeah, you're love-drunk, baby.

Be a lover to everyone who shows up. Or even the ones who don't.

Surprise someone with your love.

Tickle fancies.

Stroke egos.

Fill hearts with joy.

Build up.

Douse self-doubt.

Stoke someone's soulfire.

The ripple effects are enormous, and what might have started out as a "selfish" way to get out of a blue funk will do so much more. Because we all know that what the world needs now is love, sweet love.

And love will save the day.

You'll be surprised how often you'll hear things like "You don't know how much I needed to hear that."  The universe is an intricate tapestry of spoken and unspoken prayers, and the subsequent responses. BE a subsequent response.

Show up for love.

Enlist.

Recruit.

Become a Certified Love Administrator.

Be a soldier in the Cosmic Love Army.

Yummy-yummy-yummmmy...

Now what was that I was cranky about, again?
Lisa Carmen

"From in the shadow, she crawls.
And in the shadow, she finds her way. Finds her way...
She's been everybody else's girl. Maybe one day, she'll be her own."
- Tori Amos, "Girl"


Hello, sacred, sexy, divine and wondrous YOU.

I've had an amazing couple of weeks, those kind of weeks where you look at the things you get to do and the people you get to do them with and ask yourself, in awe and wonder, "Is this REALLY my life?" Yeah, those kind of weeks.

This weekend, I retreated with twelve women and channeled Aphrodite out at A Day Away Retreat. Our focus was desire, pleasure and love, naturally. (We were channeling Aphrodite, after all!)

I've been noticing a trend that's common with many of the women that are attracted to the work I do withSacredSexyU and The Burlesque Experience.

At some point in many of our lives, we begin to wake up to the question "What do I want?"  Perhaps we hadn't been asking it because we were too busy taking care of others.  Surviving. Working. Nurturing the kids, taking care of a husband, managing a household, serving on the P.T.A... all very noble and important duties, indeed. But if the connection with our Inner Selves is lost along the way, which very often, it is, eventually those noble and important duties start to feel heavy, or less fulfilling, or empty. Or even like dying a slow death.

And then, from under the shadow of divine discontent, we crawl. We start reaching. Searching. To access the passion, the FIRE within us that we have lost contact with. we know it's in there. But sometimes we don't know it's our selves that we are searching for.  Sometimes, sadly, we even act out in dangerous and destructive ways, just to feel alive. Some find religion. Some file for divorce. Some have affairs. Some drink to numb. Some watch too much reality T.V. or eat to numb the disconnect.

And some -- the lucky ones-- reconnect with themselves. And when that happens, ohhh yes... the world cracks open. The ground begins to shake. The old paradigms don't work anymore. Systems begin to crumble. The 'way it's always been' suddenly is outdated. When a woman reconnects with her deepest truest self, the world may turn upside down on its axis.

If you are waking up... if you are reconnecting to that which you had lost, within yourself... open up and allow.

The timing is perfect. Nothing is wasted. You are right on time.

But be warned, dear sister. When you begin to take a stand for YOU in whatever ways that might be, the people in your life may not like it. They may resist. When a husband sees his wife growing wings, he fears she will fly away. So he may resist so things can stay the same... 'safe and sound.'

And maybe she will fly away and maybe she won't. But there's nothing safe about never changing.

And when the shifts start happening, we can't go back to sleep. 

Things can't stay the same.

Our souls won't allow it.

But trust this: everything will be alright.

A self-connected, actualized woman, being her truest self, reigning supreme over the kingdom of her life is a gift. To her partner, her kids, her employees, her family. To the world.

If you are not madly, wildly in love with your life, only you can fix it. As daunting as that may seem, it happens choice by choice. It can start with what you eat for breakfast. Or what you do with that one free hour in  your schedule today. It can start with an honest conversation. Or a renewed commitment to finding more pleasure in your life.

You were meant to reign sovereign in the Kingdom of YOU. Who's on the throne?

What pleases you?

What do you want?



Lovingly prodding, gently nudging,
Lisa Carmen

_January 5, 2013

Dear Lisa,

It's me, your Future Self, exactly one year from your calendar's 'today', and my, oh my! Let me tell you, I am SOOOOO proud of you. This last year has been nothing short of AMAZING and you played this year like an instrument... what lovely music you made!

I hope when you and I look back on the path of your life, you will remember to give 2012 it's credit, for it's the year you...

- got serious about taking care of your health and body- and look at you now! Fit, trim, pain-free and more vibrant than you were in your 20s! WOW! Not only that, you helped others on their SacredSexyHealthy paths too! What joy you've created for yourself and others through accountabiligty and community! AW YEAH!

- broke through your self-imposed ceiling of what was possible for you, financially. Girl, you never even DREAMED you could do so well! You've become a faithful steward of the financial blessings showered on you!

- had amazing breakthroughs, experiences and wonderful adventures with SO MANY women, and by serving your purpose, you supported them in discovering theirs! The lives of so many were sweetly touched by you this year, and you have no idea how far the ripples go.

- got your new sacred, sexy car that you paid for in CASH!

- moved yourself and your daughter into that gorgeous, sacred, sexy sanctuary of a lovely little home... no more loud neighbors crashing above you! Your own office with a very green sunny window view! Space to dance, and hoop! You couldn't have found a more PERFECT space for yourself  at this time in your life. But ohhhh wait til you see the next one.

- Fell deeper and deeper in love... surrendered to the deep mystery of intimacy, trusting of being held in light and love, free-falling further into the bliss that is your birthright. You are one courageous lover. You've come soooo far.

- Totally MAXED out the potential of what one year could be!! YOU ROCK!


Signed,
Your future self, who loves you more than anything,
Lisa Carmen

p.s. Reader: I dare you to write a letter to yourself, dated one year from today! Let's rock this year!

_I hope you've enjoyed the SacredSexyU Twelve days of Giftmas as much as I enjoyed putting the proverbial 'gifts under the tree'!

The last offering I have for this twelfth day is two-fold: a poem and a wish. 

Also, I've decided (just now!) to extend ALL Giftmas offers through 12.31.11, to allow for more of you to take advantage of some amazing deals and offerings.

You can do so here.


From my heart to yours,
Enjoy!


Love After Love
by Derek Walcott

The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other's welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.


That poem has touched my heart in so many ways, for many years. I used to carry it in my pocket until it got too tattered and worn. I hope it touches your heart, as well!

----------------------------------------------

My wish for you, in 2012, is that you commit to loving yourself better than you ever have before.

That you treat yourself and expect others to treat you like the royalty that you are.

That you claim your cosmic sovereignty in new and exciting ways.

That you become a more fully-expressed version of the you that you truly are.

That you shed any old, outdated expectations, lies or false beliefs that may have served you for a while, but now hold you back

That you, when the year is over, look back, smile and say "WOW! What an amazing year!"

With love and gratitude for each of you who this year has made my life more meaning-full, color-full, and adventurous as I could have ever dreamed, I wish you

LIMITLESS JOY,
BOUNDLESS GRACE,
and INFINITE OPPORTUNITIES
to SHINE LIKE THE STAR YOU ARE.


In joyful appreciation,
Lisa Carmen

_HALF off a SacredSexyU Party!

Tired of the same ol' Girls Night Out?

Ready to rock your women's group?

Craving more meaning at your Bachelorette Party?

Wanna give your Book Club a BANG?


Ditch the ordinary! For less than the cost of dinner and a cocktail, I can facilitate your next women's gathering with a variety of themes.

Infuse your next gathering with meaning and memories.  Whether you're in the mood for a fun and frisky get-together or a soulful, moving adventure, you and your group can choose from themes like:

• Sexy is an Attitude
• Sensual, Sexy Playtime
• Moving Through Fear
• Unstoppable You!
• No More Little Miss Nice Girl!
• BodyLove
• Life Purpose Playshop
• Bestie Bonding: Activities, games and celebration of best friend love!
• Wishes, Desires and Intentions: What do you REALLY want?
• Bombshell Burlesque for Beginners
• and many more.

Through 12/31/11, schedule your party for anytime in 2012 to lock in this crazy deal! Save 50% off the regular cost for your entire group!


Regular price ranges between $20-$50 per person. Mention GIFTMAS for a 50% savings of $10-$25 per person!

Do your party a favor!

Can also be used for SacredSexyceremony, clergy services, etc. More info here.

Contact Lisa Carmen directly for details and scheduling info.

Email lisa@sacredsexyu.com or call 214.931.1981.

__

_Offer TWO...

On the eleventh day of Giftmas, SacredSexyU gave to meeeeee...

A ONE YEAR  PASS to SacredSexyBiz networking events for just $49!

Regularly $79, which even at full price is a great deal. Networking events are $10/15 each. Save BIG!

SacredSexyBiz: Networking for Goddesses luncheons are held monthly, usually the fourth Thursday of the month. 

"The cure for the common networking event."

Click here for more info on these events, locations and upcoming dates.

Purchase your discounted $49 one-year pass here!

This offer ends 12/23.

Sha na na na, na na na. Na na na na na!

Remember that episode of the Brady Bunch where Peter's voice was changing. Instead of leaving him out, they all recorded the song together anyway, "When it's time to change, you've got to rearrange..."  Well, I apologize in advance, because now you will also have it in your head, but I've had that song in my head all morning, because I know for me, it's time to make some important changes around my health and wellness that I've been avoiding like the plague.

When I turned 40 this year, I finally admitted to myself that my body is exhibiting some 'wear and tear' as a result of the lifetime of nonchalant choices I have made, the stubborn refusal I have shown to give certain things up, and frankly, just some plain old immaturity. "You can't make me." I'd say to myself... yeah, that's right... so stubborn I won't even let ME tell ME what to do. I'm a hedonist, dammit!

Well, our bodies are wise and intuitive messengers, and while they may initially nudge us with whispers, when ignored, the whispers turn to shouts, the shouts turn into disease, chronic pain, dangerous, life-threatening symptoms... the body says "REMEMBER ME? Care for me. Love me, dammit. Listen, lady. Without me, you're nothing."  

And while I'm a big believer that we are far more than our bodies, let's admit it. They do supply us with the ways and means to exist in this super-fun time-space reality and do our super-fun human thing. Sure, I'm looking forward to being an ethereal spirit body someday, but right now, I'm here, in this body, and yes, Peter, it's time to change.

Soooo that being said, in the interest of transparency, what greater way to be accountable to these necessary changes than to share the journey with you.  I ask you to join me, as witness, as I embark on my 2012 Wellness Overhaul. Yes, it's an Overhaul. The baby steps were getting me nowhere. 

Don't get me wrong. I DO believe in baby steps... I see them work, in many, many cases, in my own life and the life of my clients and friends. And SOME movement is always better than NO movement. But what I need right now are BIG LEAPS OF BOLDNESS.

I'm putting this out there also because I know once it's 'out there', I have to be accountable to more than just myself. And that makes me stronger and bolder. (Rightnow, it makes me a little queasy, but I'll get over it.)

I invite you to follow my journey. Even better, I'd love for you to do more than follow. To allow my determination to get really, super duper healthy, to finally pay attention and care deeply for this body, and to prove so with action, to makeover my life, inspire and ignite your own necessary changes. Join me.

Any big challenge is easier when tackled with friends.

You in?

Lisa Carmen
Creator/Coach
SacredSexyU

Feel free to reply privately to this email your bold declarations, or post them on the SacredSexyU page if you're into public proclamations.  Either way, let's support one another, so that we can together have the MOST AWESOME YEAR EVER.

I'll be getting specific about my plans and practices for wellness in 2012 in future emails, blogs and recordings. Stay tuned!